


Love is weakness (but isn't it a wonderful one?)

by ShenaniganNinja



Series: Love is weakness [1]
Category: The 100 (TV), The 100 Series - Kass Morgan
Genre: And also fluffiness, Eventual Sex, Explicit Sex, F/F, Female-Centric, I'll warn in case you don't want to read that, Idk I'll write and see how this goes, Slow-burn at first, Smut, There'll be some angst, cute af, f/f - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-11
Updated: 2016-12-14
Packaged: 2018-08-19 22:11:06
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 31
Words: 20,480
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8226353
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShenaniganNinja/pseuds/ShenaniganNinja
Summary: AU in which Clarke is born on EarthThe story of Lexa and Clarke, how they met as kids and grow up with each other, how they fell in love and everything going on from there on.Their struggles with Lexa becoming Heda kom Trikru and how they'll fight to just be who they are in their harsh, revengeful world.This fic starts with them as children, but they'll grow up in a couple of chapters.The plot will grow more complicated as the story goes on (from ch 14 or so)





	1. The girl in the alley

AUTHOR'S NOTE: OK, so here's the first chapter, where we'll see how Clarke and Lexa meet each other. They won't stay as children for too long, I promise, just enough for us to get fond of them. There'll probably be flashbacks of their childhood once they're adults, because cuteness overload. Hope you enjoy it!

\-----------

The raging storm kept everyone inside their houses. As fierce as Trikru were, none of them were fond of lightnings, nor thunders. Besides, the heavy rain made It almost impossible for anyone to walk around the village. It was almost sundown in the suburbs of the tiny village of Relac, yet there wasn't a single soul wandering the streets.

Or almost none. Lying on the floor was a tiny silhouette one would've mistaken for a stray dog or even a big rat. The skinny child couldn't have been older than seven or eight, yet the look in her eyes was the one of an old person, already tired of suffering in life, and who knew deep inside that their fight was already over.

She remained so still that when the second figure bumped into her, they were both startled by each other.

"WHAT THE..." yelled the other child

They stared at each other for a few seconds until one of them spoke up again

"I know you" the tiny kid on the floor answered as she stood up "you are the one who stole my food" she said angrily, ready to fight if need be

"What? I'm no thieve" the other child replied, seemingly offended

"Yes you are." The kid took a step forward "I've been taking food scraps from that house's trash" she pointed at the pile of half-rotten food, completely ruined now by the rain besides them "for over a year now. Who the hell are you?"

"I'm Lexa. Who are you?"

"Clarke. And that food you're carrying belongs to me." She stared defiantly. She hadn't eaten for over two days and there was no way she was going to let that girl steal from her.

"Well, Clarke. This food's mine, I mean, I was the one to steal it, so it's as much mine as it's yours every other day." She took a long stare at the shorter girl, Clarke was skinny and wearing what could barely be called clothes, they were basically rags poorly sewn together.

She wondered if she looked the same way. "No way. You're not one of us. You don't need the food. I do. We do." Clarke kept thinking about how the few things Lexa'd managed to save needed to last her and the others at least for a few days.

"Who are _you_?" Lexa inquired

Clarke hesitated "Why are you stealing food? You don't look..."

"I don't look _what_?"

"You know...like us. Like a _kik thru,_ you know, a survivor, a child of the streets... _"_

Lexa stared at her as if she was clinging onto the other girl for dear life. "Do you mean...there are others?"

It wasn't until then that Clarke realised the deplorable state the other girl was in. Her hair looked as if it has been braided weeks ago, with more loose strands of hair than actually combed ones, and Lexa'd clothes, yet not as old as hers, were the filthiest she'd seen in a while. 

That was when Clarke realised Lexa was just as lost as all of them. Street children they called them. They spoke of each other as the Natkru, the Night People, for they lived in the shadows, trying to survive, no matter how.

"You haven't got a family either, do you?" Clarke asked, yet she knew the answer

"No."

Clarke sighed. As much as she hated letting people in, the girl was going to die if they didn't help her. The elder kids would know what to do. 

"Come with me. I'll get you somewhere safe" with that she started walking further into the dark alley they were in. "Are you coming or not?" She said as she opened a trapdoor on the floor which was conveniently hidden to prevent any unwanted intruders from coming in.

Lexa nodded and joined her as they both dissapeared into the shadows.


	2. The Hole

Lexa followed Clarke into what seemed to her more like an animal's den rather than a proper home. The place reeked of being underground, the air smelled humid, and it was freezing cold, yet it was the closest to safe than Lexa had felt in quite a long time. Multiple torches hung from the thick stone walls, and Lexa couldn't help but look all around her as they ventured into the human burrow. Clarke guided her around the place while she kept saluting every child who lived there. There were no proper rooms, and the only privacy one could get in there was by hanging improvised curtains made from scraps of cloth, which separated the different personal spaces (one couldn't call a single home-made mattress lying on the floor a room, and those were the luxurious ones).

After a few minutes of bumping into kids of several ages, many of them barely babies, whilst others were in their late teens, they went into what seemed like some sort of gathering room. "Neko" Clarke saluted, it was clear she respected him.

"Clarke. Who is that you bring with you?" his eyes carefully scrutinised Lexa. He wouldn't trust anyone unless they deemed worthy to him, yet that was more a quality rather than a flaw in his personality, since it had saved their lives many times before.

"She is..."

"Lexa kom Trikru" the other girl interrupted

Neko glared at her "I wasn't talking to you, _Lexa kom Trikru_. But, since you seem such a chatterbox, tell me, why dare you come into our home?" Lexa swallowed, it was obvious she'd pissed him off, and he must've been some sort of leader of the street children, judging by the size of his bed and how respectfully Clarke had adressed him.

"I...um, I was getting scraps of food and um... I ran into Clarke and she..." she cleared her throat "I guess I...can I stay here?"

Neko studied the girl carefully. She was tall for her age (she couldn't be much older than Clarke) yet it was clear she hadn't been eating properly lately. Still, her eyes hadn't lost their natural brightness, meaning she hadn't been wandering the streets for too long. She looked strong, but she didn't appear to him as a threat, though he needed to be sure.

"Why?" he asked

"My...parents, in fact, mi entire village, Runai, they...they burnt it to the ground...there barely were any survivors and..." her voice cracked, she could hardly manage to hold her tears back now

" _Azgeda_ " Neko growled. That was all he needed to hear. The Ice Nation had been tormenting the Tree People for as long as anyone could remember, and anyone who was a victim of theirs was automatically welcome into his herd of orphan children. "Clarke, show her around. She's in. You share"

"What? But..."Clarke whined

"Clarke, _beja_ " Neko looked at her in the eye, she cared deeply for the child and they both knew it.

"Fine. But if..."

" _Klark._ " The moment she heard her name spoken in Trigedasleng she knew there was no arguing. Lexa and her were to live wall by wall. Or curtain by curtain. Or whatever.

"Fine. Fine." she looked at Lexa "Let's go."

Lexa thanked Neko silently as she followed Clarke further.

\----------

"Here" Lexa offered part of the remaining scraps to Clarke as they continued to eat in silence

They'd had dinner in silence, just seating by each other, Lexa's eyes roaming through the place and every new person she saw. After quite a bit, she laid on the bunch of frayed sheets and blankets she'd managed to gather and decided she might as well try and get some sleep. Her belly was full, she'd a warm (sort of) bed (sort of), and for the first time since Azgeda had destroyed everything she'd ever known, she felt safe.


	3. The friend

Days turned into weeks, and weeks turned into months. Before any of them realised it, Clarke and Lexa had been living in the same place for over half a year. Contrary to what one would think, they hadn't spoken much. Yes, they spoke everyday and asked each other how everything had gone, but none of them dared to trust each other, to really _talk_. Words went unspoken whenever someone else mentioned their families, and they wouldn't talk about their pasts. It simply was too painful, particularly for Lexa.

Time passed by and they began to care for each other. Especially since that one day. Nothing big happened, none of them did a great gesture or a memorable thing for the other. It just seemed to break the walls they both had in order to shield themselves from the world.

It was a cold winter day. Snow had been falling for over two weeks, ruining the crops, and the village was already running out of supplies. Almost no food arrived from the capital, Polis, or nearby villages, and when it did it was either rotten or unaffordably expensive. 

By chance, Clarke had found a small hut in the woods, which was being used for food storage by someone who apparently wasn't too sharp, since anyone with that much food should've kept it in a safer place. For a couple of days she'd been eating the best meals she'd ever had: fruit, meat, sometimes even fish, which was quite a luxury to her, when she decided she'd worked hard enough the rest of the day and she deserved it. 

On the other hand, Lexa had been surviving by taking fruit off trees, meaning she hadn't eaten more than three oranges and a few grapes in over a week. In fact, it had been over two days since she last ate, and she felt simply too exhausted to even walk out of bed and try and find anything to soothe her aching stomach. 

Lying in that position and pale as ever is how Clarke found her. 

"Lexa"

Lexa opened an eye

"What's wrong?"

Lexa closed her eyes again. Clarke knew something was happening. 

"Lexa answer me"

Clarke felt cold sweat running down her back as she tried to speak to her. She put her arm around Lexa and put her in a sitting position as she brought some water to the other girl's lips. Slowly, Lexa recovered consciousness and started drinking.

"Lexa"

"Mmmhpf?"

"You need food." She knew the feeling. The excruciating pain in her belly, the cramps all over her body. The blurred vision and most of all, the thought that she wasn't going to make it. That thought back in her head that told her that was it, that she was going to die right there and right then. 

She opened her backpack and she took out what she'd thought was going to be her dinner. And for the first time in her life, Clarke shared.

After that day, their relationship changed. They became more than just two street kids who happened to sleep in nearby beds, and they started to develop something neither of them had had until then: a real friendship. 

Even though Clarke had known many people in her life, she'd never considered any of them her friends. Not even Neko, who was more of a sort of elder brother to her. And then Lexa and her began to speak.

Slowly, they started sharing their thoughts, their fears and wishes. Clarke taught Lexa which people threw more food out and how to sew and heal a wound, and in return Lexa showed her how to climb trees and fight.

They established a routine in which they didn't eat everything they found, but instead they brought something at night to share with the other in case they hadn't found anything, if they were lucky and got some clothes they'd keep them stored until any of them needed them, and if they were ever lucky enough to find an animal who'd just been caught in a trap, they'd eat it together.

One day, a few months after they first shared food, Clarke asked Lexa about her family. Lexa sighed as her eyes looked a darker shade of green. But still, she spoke.

"I am an only child. My parents were both warriors." her eyes pooled with unshed tears "My dad was one of the leaders of the Trikru, and my mum trained the kids in the village. She also made the best pies..." She looked at Clarke sadly "in spring we used to go to TonDC to see my her family and she'd make pie for all of us, and in summer I asked her to make it for my birthday, even though I knew she'd say no but then my dad would convince her and try to surprise me with it... I" she hesitated "I'm sorry, I sound so silly"

Clarke put a hand on her shoulder "You don't, they sound wonderful"

Lexa offered her the tiniest smile. Clarke realised she'd never seen Lexa smiling before. She smiled back "Do you want to tell me more?"

Lexa nodded "I think I could go on and in about them" and so she did. For over half an hour she told Clarke everything about her parents: how much they'd done for their village, how fierce and brave they were, how they knew the Commander herself, but mostly she spoke about how they loved each other and their kid. Clarke listened to every word as Lexa got lost in her memories.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so the fic has been uploaded for two days and has already been read by a few of you (yay!) so I'm really motivated about it. As I said in the summary, the first chapters will be a sort of introduction and then we'll get to the real Heda-ish stuff and there'll be war and blood and lovey doveys. I'll appreciate comments and/or kudos to know what you guys think!


	4. Clarke

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so in this chapter...*drumroll* Clarke's story (duh), time jump (but I'll write more flashbacks in future chapters bc cute), we'll have a little angst (sorry not sorry) but I'll be solved sometime soon(ish). Comments are cool, by the way ;)

"And you?" Lexa asked

"Huh?"

"Yeah, tell me about you"

Clarke shrugged "There's really not much to tell."

"Come on, I just told you everything there is to know about me." Lexa looked hurt

"Fine. I don't know who the hell my parents are, or were, or whatever. The point is, they never gave a shit about me. Abandoned me in the streets the minute I was born. Neko found me and took me to his elder sister, who was kind of in charge back then. I was raised in the streets with no one to back me up except for Neko, and even he doesn't do much for me, because he knows I don't need nor want him to treat me differently. His sister died a couple of years ago and I'm kind of the closest thing to family that he has left, and I guess he is supposed to be like family to me, but I really don't want to care too much about anybody, because I saw what his sister's death did to him and I don't care dealing with that. But I don't want..." She stopped 

Lexa realised what she implied "He cares, even though you treat him like you don't"

"I know."

They remained silent for a while and then Lexa dared to ask her "You save money. Why?"

Clarke glared at her "Because I want to"

"Yes, but I've seen you selling stuff to get it, stuff that could've been useful to you and..."

"You know who Indra is?"

"Um...yeah"

"Well, a year ago I asked her to take me as her second. She said I'm a child so no. I told her I'm better than many who are older than me, but still I would want to be her apprentice. She said if I paid her, she'd teach me."

Lexa was surprised "Why do you want to be her second?"

"I'm no one, Lexa. And I have no one. When you are like me, you need to _become_ someone."

And then, Lexa did something none of them expected: she hugged her. Clarke got tense as she became aware of what was happening and slowly decided to hug Lexa back. They stayed like that for a couple of minutes and then Clarke spoke "I haven't hugged anyone since I was two"

"Well. It was about time, then" Lexa said as she broke the hug

Clarke smiled "Yeah, I guess it was"

That was when things really changed between them.

 

\---------------------

 

Nine years later, both of them had been training with Indra as their friendship grew closer. At the age of seventeen, Lexa had managed to become Indra's predilect pupil and second, whilst Clarke, who'd already turned eighteen, had preferred to be a healer, which didn't stop her from also being one of the fiercest warriors amongst the grounders.

And, although they were each other's best (if not only) friends, there was an unspoken truth going on between them. A truth so obvious, yet they refused to acknowledge it out of fear, because even though on the battlefield none of them were scared, life was a different kind of battle.

A year ago, Clarke had dared to finally express what everyone knew. It was a regular day, they were both sitting by the river, talking about old times. Now they lived in a cabin with other two teens who were also training to become warriors, and for the first time in a long while for Lexa, and the first time ever for Clarke, they had proper rooms, and even real furs to sleep in, instead of the rags they'd been used to for so long. They could afford some real clothing, yet everything they had had been achieved with hard work and effort. 

They'd talked about everything and nothing at the same time, and they'd decided to sleep by the river and watch the sunrise. Everything was fine, until they began to speak about their feelings. 

Lexa's head was lying on Clarke's shoulder as she braided the brunette's hair. Lexa was playing with Clarke's golden braids as they spoke. 

"I might have to go to Polis" Lexa spoke

"When?"

"Next week or so"

Clarke bit her lip "For how long?"

Lexa turned around to look at her "Indra thinks I should live there"

Clarke shifted awkwardly in her seat. She remained silent as she broke eye contact and started looking around.

"Clarke"

 "..."

"Clarke, come on"

"..."

"It's not like I'm going to stop talking to you"

"Like that's why I care about"

Lexa looked at her "You wouldn't mind if we never spoke again?!" anger started to show in her voice

"No, I mean, yes, of course I'd care, Lexa, you know that"

Lexa's jaw clenched as she alwayd did when she was angry or tense "Then what did you mean?"

"You know what I meant" she had to know.

They stared intensely into each other's eyes. Clarke saw fear in Lexa's, mirroring her own. They'd been in similar situations before, but never as close as then. And Clarke couldn't hold herself back any longer. She put her hand on Lexa's cheek and kissed her softly.

It felt like fireworks and butterflies and then their mouths clashed together again, fiercely, first lips touching lips only, until Lexa began caressing Clarke's back, reassuring her and giving her the confidence to tease Lexa's lips with her tongue. They kept sharing hot, open-mouthed kisses, hands roaming freely on each other's backs until suddenly Lexa backed off abruptly, eyes filled with tears.

"I can't" she stood up "I-I'm sorry. I just, I can't"

She started walking away as Clarke stood up and grabbed her arm

"What the hell do you mean? Lexa come on. I know you..."

"I SAID I CAN'T!" Tears fell down Lexa's cheeks. Clarke let go of her arm as she tried to dry her tears, Lexa allowing her to do so. They slowly approached and Lexa trew her arms around Clarke's waist as she cried, head lying on the other girl's chest.

Clarke held her like that for quite a while and finally spoke.

"Please don't go"


	5. The feelings

Clarke had asked her to stay.

Clarke felt something.

Clarke had kissed her.

She couldn't go.

Yet Indra insisted she had to.

Lexa moved uncomfortably in her bed. It had already been dark for a few hours and she knew there was no way she was going to get any sleep. She silently got out of her bed and out into the street.

"It's for your own good" a deep voice said, barely louder than a whisper

Lexa jumped at the sound of Indra's voice "I can't go, you know that"

"Well, one would think you to be stronger, since you are..."

"I am." she glared at Indra, anger boiling inside her 

"You haven't told her"

Lexa shrugged

"Good. She can't know" Indra said pointedly

Lexa opened her mouth but decided to shut up. It wasn't worth it. Indra was the most stubborn person she'd ever met. Well, the second, after Clarke. She smiled slightly at the thought. Her hand touched the bracelet on her left arm, a gift Clarke had given her many years ago. It was a simple piece of brown cloth with three coloured beads and a small white feather, yet it meant the world to Lexa. Clarke had made it for her on her birthday a few years ago and she hadn't taken it off since.

She went back into her room without saying goodbye to Indra, and sat on her bed crossing her legs indian style. After another few hours, Clarke woke up and before she could say a word, Lexa spoke

"I'm staying." Clarke's eyes lit up with hope "But we are friends."

\--------

That year they'd been closer than ever, although they never talked about why Lexa hadn't left or their kiss. Still, the feeling was there. That little voice in the back of their heads kept telling them there was something wrong, something between them that wasn't working the way it was supposed to.

Sometimes that voice almost dissapeared. Other times it was deafening.

On their seventeenth birthdays, each of them got their first warrior tattoos. Lexa got a tribal armband on her right upper arm, whilst Clarke got an ancient symbol on her left shoulderblade. Both days they were close to each other. They spent those days with each other, sharing smiles, exchanging little comforting gestures, tension between them. But nothing happened.

Until one day Clarke decided she wasn't going to stand that situation any longer. She and Lexa were sitting on the brunette's bed, each one minding their own business, when Clarke stopped the sketch she was drawing

"What did you mean when you said you couldn't do it?"

That caught Lexa off guard, causing her to drop the arrow she was fixing

"Crap." She picked it up "What are you talking about?"

"When we kissed, Lexa"

Lexa looked away from Clarke "I told you. We are friends"

Clarke rolled her eyes and scoffed "Fine. When you want to talk, let me know" She stood up from the bed and walked away.

"Clarke, please"

...

"Clarke, wait"

Lexa wasn't ready to talk. They both knew it. Clarke turned around

"Do you even care about me?"

Lexa's eyes flew wide open at the question. Still, she somehow wasn't able to answer.


	6. The pain

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OK, so I guess this is going well bc wow. Over 600 hits in less than 24 hrs. Thank you guys!!  
> In this chapter there'll be some violence but you can feel when the gore-y part is coming up (not really that much gore) so that you can skip it. Let me know your thoughts!

"Do you even care about me?"

...

Clarke and Lexa stared at each other intensely until Clarke rolled her eyes and stormed out of the room. Lexa hesitated. Of course she cared, how couldn't Clarke know it? But Indra was right, she shouldn't. She couldn't. Still, she followed Clarke outside. Lexa looked around searching for the blonde, until she saw her with Indra, both of them wearing their armors and Clarke starting to pick which weapons to carry. Then she heard the wardrums.

Lexa tensed immediatly. She put on her armor as well and ran to Indra's side

"It was about time. And you call yourself my second..."

Lexa clenched her jaw, her embarrasment preventing her from speaking

"Let's move" Indra commanded "Azgeda is almost at our doors"

The three of them joined the rest of the grounders as Indra yelled orders to them. Archers took their positions as the rest kept walking towards the Ice Nation's troops. Lexa glanced at Clarke, who had apparently taken a great interest in her knife's engravings. As they approached the enemy, the sound of wardrums stopped and was replaced by their warriors' screaming.

Even though there were less warriors amongst the Azgeda army, the Trikru knew they were savage in battle. As much as these people had been sent to scare them, there were going to be casualties on both sides.

Suddenly, the noise stopped. Then, arrows started flying over their heads. Lifeless bodies started to fall to the ground on both sides as the warriors ran towards their enemies. 

Swords cut through human flesh and tissue and guts spilled to the ground as life wa teared out of those who were who got in their way. Flaming arrows lit fires on the battlefield and burned many alive. And in the middle of that whirlwind of blood, steel and chaos, Clarke fought, brave as ever. She slayed everyone who got in her way, as did Lexa, periodically saving each other from deadly attacks.

The fight went on for hours, bodies piling up on the floor, until the last remains of Azgeda retreated. Indra found Lexa

"You fought well. You would've been better if you'd realised what was happening earlier"

"I know." Lexa dried the sweat off her forehead "It won't happen again"

"It better not"

Lexa nodded firmly and started cleaning her sword. Then she heard her name

"Lexa" Clarke's voice was barely audible

The brunette turned around to look at her

"Clarke, what's..."

Clarke was deadly pale, hands clutching her lower belly. Fear and pain in her eyes. An arrow had hit her from the back and its shaft and point were between the blonde's fingers, blood flowing from her wound. Lexa barely catched her before she hit the floor. She started yelling for help as the village's healer ran towards them.

"Clarke, don't, please..." 

 Then Clarke closed her eyes


	7. Why?

Lexa drew circles with her thumb on the back of Clarke's hand. It had been almost two days and the blonde hadn't woken up, or moved, or given any sign of being alive other than her faint pulse and ragged breath. The healer had been able to suture her wound and remove the arrow, but they couldn't know when, or if she'd wake up.

Lexa's eyes were swollen from the back of sleep, but there was nothing she could do. She was waiting for Clarke. She needed her to wake up. Hell, she needed her.

Then, a finger moved. Lexa looked at her hand but saw no movement. She must've imagined it. But then Clarke softly squeezed her hand. Her eyes fluttered open and stared into Lexa's green ones as she tiredly smiled.

"Hey"

Tears started to flow relentlessly from Lexa's eyes as she heard the blonde's voice

"Lexa, it's OUCH" she grunted in pain as she tried to sit up

Lexa pushed her back down "Stay still, we didn't save you so you can pop all those stitches the moment you wake up" she said between sobs

"Hey" Clarke squeezed her hand again, this time more firmly "It's okay. I'm okay. _Mai gonplei ne ste odon_. My fight isn't over...yet _._ " she took a quick glance at Lexa, it was clear she hadn't left her side since the battle. The brunette was still covered in mud and blood and wearing her armor. "You're bleeding" Clarke pointed at the black blood coming out of Lexa's arm "let me clean that for you"

Lexa looked at her arm first and then at Clarke. She seemed frightened, yet it was a small cut.

"You knew." Fear and anxiousness made it hard for her to talk "You knew I'm..."

"A Natblida? Of course, since we met. Why?" Clarke stared nonchalantly as she tried to clean Lexa's wound without moving too much so as not to hurt herself

"Oh come on, Lexa. You're going to be Heda, get over it." 

Lexa looked at Clarke, and for the first time she allowed herself to truly see the girl as she was: intelligent enough to know what her fate was, yet brave to care about her. And who was she kidding, her feelings weren't unrequited. Not at all. And Clarke deserved everything: love, a long life, happiness, the entire world. And over all, she deserved the truth.

"Clarke"she caressed the other girl's cheek "that's why"

The blonde looked at her without understanding

"That's why _what_?"

And then Lexa said the most painful words Clarke had ever heard

"That's why we can't be together"


	8. The heartache

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so almost 1k views in less than 48hrs, I'm guessind that's a good sign! :) Anyhow, this is my first fic ever, so I'll take any comments/suggestions/tips you wanna give me. Also, English is sooo not my mother tongue (I'm Spanish lol) so if you notice any typos/grammar mistakes, please let me know and I'll correct them asap. I don't have any beta readers or anything, so I suppose I'll make a few mistakes (though I try to check my spelling thoroughly)
> 
> Hope you like It!

Clarke's eyes stared right into Lexa's, her pain was obvious. She scoffed and shut her eyes.

"Well, I guess you aren't that brave after all"

Lexa took a deep breath holding back her tears

"Clarke, I just can't do it, don't you get it?"

Clarke looked away

"Leave"

"Clarke, please"

"I won't ask you again"

And Lexa stood up and left her alone.

Only then Clarke allowed herself to be angry, furious at the other girl. How could she be such a coward? Run away from her because she was meant to be the next Commander? Lexa felt the same way she did, she knew it deep inside, and Lexa had to know she knew. Why did she keep trying to fight their feelings? Those thoughts filled Clarke's mind as she drifted off to sleep.

Her wound hurt and she was exhausted, both physically and psychologically. Her last thought before everything went dark, though, was for Lexa. Because despites anything she did to keep them apart, Clarke knew she was truly and inevitable in love with Lexa.

\------

Days passed by as Clarke recovered. Lexa barely attempted to speak to her, and when she did, all the blonde did was ignore her. Of course, she only did that when she got tired of being mean or cruel to the other girl.

Clarke had never known the feeling of heartbreak, and she was most definitely not enjoying it, nor was Lexa. It kept them awake at night and made them cranky while they were awake. Still, none of them dared to put an end to it.

One night, Indra approached Clarke. She barely spoke, as she usually did, but with a few words she said everything Clarke needed to hear.

"Fix it or forget her"


	9. The courage

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aaand this is the second and last chapter I'm posting tonight :) coming up: will Lexa and Clarke get together? Will they still be heartbroken? Oooh hello angst my old friend.

Clarke laid on the grass as she sketched the landscape with her charcoal. It wasn't one of her best drawings, but being by the lake where Lexa and her had kissed for the first (and only, she painfully reminded herself) wasn't helping her focus at all.

It was a warm spring day, flowers bloomed, butterflies and birds flew around whilst Clarke tried to capture every single detail of the changing nature surrounding her. She kept drawing for hours, until the Sun set and there was no light at all. Then she carefully left her hand-made sketchbook on the floor and dipped her feet in the cold water.

She took her clothes off and dived into the lake. She swam for a while, she'd learnt how to as a child and usually did it when she needed to relax, which lately was quite often. She went from side to side of the lake as the Moon started glowing in the night sky. She was startled when all of a sudden she heard a loud splash next to her. Seconds later, Lexa's head emerged from the water.

"Oooooh that's cold"

Clarke rolled her eyes "What are you doing? You can't swim!"

"Yeah, well, this lake isn't really deep, so..." She shrugged and smiled "Stressful day?"

"Now it is" was the blonde's angry response

Lexa's eyes filled with sadness at the answer "Don't be like that"

Clarke sighed "Can we not talk?"

Lexa nodded as she started attempting to swim around the lake, much to Clarke's amusement. The girl was really terrible. To be honest, you couldn't call that swimming, it was more like trying not to drown, and even a puppy would've done it better.

Clarke swam as well, lost in her thoughts. The cold water relaxed her tense muscles, making her mind think more clearly as she kept going. After quite a while she stopped swimming and looked at the moon which was already on full display, illuminating the otherwise dark sky. Clarke stared in awe at such beauty, until she heard another loud splash, this time Lexa had done it on purpose to bother her.

"OH COME ON" 

Lexa laughed "Water fight"

"No"

"Yeeees"

"Lexa I swear"

And then the aquatic battle began, both of them squishing and splashing each other mercilessly

"Lexa, you're such a child" the sentence was cut by Clarke's giggles which suddenly turned into a burst of laughter as Lexa tickled her sides.

When Lexa stopped though, it was as if the world around them had stopped existing. Their foreheads rested on each other's as they both felt the others' ragged breath. Clarke's hand rised to cup Lexa's cheek as the other girl leaned into the touch

"I'm sorry for being such an ass lately"

Lexa's thumb touched Clarke's belly scar softly 

"I'm sorry about this"

Clarke half-smiled 

"It's okay, now I have a story to..."

She was cut mid-sentence by Lexa's lips colliding into hers. And this time none of them hesitated as they passionately kissed, Lexa's hand on the small of Clarke's back as they explored each others mouth, eliciting tiny moans and whimpers every now and then with a little flick of one's tongue or a bite on the others' lip. When they finally pulled apart, gasping for breath, Clarke had to ask

"What was that?"

"Courage"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so they kissed moahahaha. From now on, the plot is going to get more complicated since soon Lexa will have to go to Polis, have her conclave when the Commander dies and ummm there's a tag in the description saying something about the Ice Queen, right? ;)


	10. Circumstances

Clarke woke up once the sunlight was too intense for her to keep ignoring it. She blinked as her eyes adjusted to the light and groaned when she noticed her left arm was trapped under something. She then realised it was under _someone._ Lexa and her had fallen asleep while cuddling by the lake, and as a result Clarke's arm was numb, but honestly, she couldn't care less. 

Memories of the previous night filled her head: she and Lexa swimming, them kissing, then talking for hours, then more kissing...until both of them were too exhausted and fell asleep in each other's arms.

Clarke caressed Lexa's arm as she gently tried to wake the other girl up. Lexa leaned into the touch but kept sleeping anyway. A half-smile formed in Clarke's face as she started kissing Lexa's neck, first barely nipping at her skin, then more intensely as the brunette began to gain consciousness. When Lexa's eyes finally opened she smiled widely, which made Clarke's heart skip a beat as they kissed again.

"We should get home before anyone noticed we've been gone the while night" Lexa said between kisses

"Alexandria, please, for once in your life _be reckless_ " Clarke laid on the grass as Lexa got on top of her, hands exploring each other's bodies, yet still none of them got into certain areas. Not yet.

Lexa rolled her eyes "I shouldn't have told you my full name" she pouted "now you have that power over me" she said mockingly

Clarke turned them around so she was on top of Lexa and whispered into her ear "Maybe I like  _power_ " she smiled as they resumed their kissing

They were so busy with each other none of them heard the footsteps approaching them and stopping by their side. 

"Well" Indra spoke with fake indifference "I guess you'll never listen to me" then Clarke knew it was Indra who had told Lexa not to be with her. Of course. Lexa could be the best person at hiding her feelings from everyone, but it had never worked with Clarke. They just knew each other too well.

Clarke and Lexa sat up as fast as they could while trying to fix their hair and clothes to seem as decent as possible

"Indra, I..." Lexa looked _almost_ embarassed

"If you hadn't been so busy deliberately ignoring what I've been telling you for years" anger showed in her voice "you might've noticed that" Indra pointed at the sky. A huge column of red smoke rose in the air just in the middle of Polis. 

Clarke looked worriedly at Lexa as the brunette put on her best façade. The three of them knew what that meant.

"When?" Lexa inquired

"As soon as you all get there. Tomorrow or the day after."

Lexa nodded as she processed what was happening. Red smoke meant the Commander had died. A Conclave was to be held and all of the Natblidas would take place in it, but only one of them would survive. The moment Lexa had feared for so long was finally there. The day where she would either break Clarke's heart or make things between them a great deal more complicated.

She would either win and become Heda or die.


	11. Homesickness

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok. I'm crying bc I'm rewriting this chapter (hate my wifi).  
> Thank you guys for the support, you're really nice to me. I'm trying to update the story every day or so, and you seem to be following it (yaaay) I'm also thinking about introducing the rest of the Delinquents (O, Raven, Monty, not-crazy-Jasper...) in further episodes, so let me know your thoughts ;)  
> Btw, if you're a spanish-speaker and want to leave your comments in Spanish, please do :D

The last hours the girls spent gathering their belongings and packing for Polis were harder than either girl had expected. For years they'd lived in that house, created so many memories inside it, grown up in there... the place wasn't a house anymore for either of them. It was a _home_.

They both were overwhelmed by their feelings as they looked at the house one last time. None of them wanted to break the silence, nor were they sure that they'd be able to express what they felt. They didn't know when or if they were going to come back.

\-------

They got on their horses as they rode towards the sunset. It was a long journey to Polis and there was no time to waste. Indra travelled a few metres before them, leaving the girls some privacy.

Lexa approached Clarke and they kept riding in silence for a while. Clarke's eyes looked a darker shade of blue as dark feelings clouded her mind. What if Lexa rejected her once she became Heda? What if her subjects objected to their relationship? No Heda had ever kept an official lover because of the risk it entailed. Would they have to hide from the world?

Clarke shook her head as she tried not to think so much. Then the darkest of all thoughts crossed her mind: what if Lexa died?

"Hey, you're going to be fine" Lexa smiled, but her eyes betrayed her. It was clear she was as scared as Clarke. Still, they both decided to pretend they hadn't noticed.

"Yeah, I know" Clarke smiled back

"So, is there something you want to see in Polis?"

Clarke played along with the light-hearted conversation. She wasn't in the mood for big talk. Not yet, anyway.

"I can think of _someone..."_ she said cheekily 

"You're such a child" Lexa giggled

They went on talking and shamelessly flirting for most of the road to Polis. However, a few minutes before arriving, Lexa spoke up

"Clarke, I need you to promise me something" 

Clarke knew what Lexa's intentions were way before she asked

"Whatever it is, if it involves anything happening to you, I won't..."

"Please" Lexa cut her off mid-sentence "just...if I die..."

"No. You won't"

"If... I were to die" Lexa clenched her jaw "please. I've always wanted you to keep this"

She took off the necklace she always wore, a simple black thread with a small green bead of the exact shade of Lexa's eyes. 

"I... you've always had that..." Clarke let Lexa put the necklace on her

"I could ask you to live on, to forget me..." Lexa sighed "but I know you. You're stubborn and won't listen" Clarke made a face but then smiled since she knew every word was true "so I want you to have this...as a memory of me. Something to hold on to after I'm gone"

Clarke held Lexa's hand "I'll keep it. But because I like it. You're not going to die at the Conclave. You...." Clarke's voice broke "you can't die"

They stared intensely at each other, the moment only broken by Indra's voice

"Behold the city of Polis"

And that way, hand in hand, both girls got into the city, filled with uncertainty.


	12. The Conclave

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, wow, it hasn't been even a week since I started the fic and it already has over 2.1k hits (yay) thank you guys! Coming up in the next chapters: the Conclave, fight, fight, blood, more fight, loooove (naaaah) fight.

Clarke stared in awe as they got further into Polis. She had never seen a city that large, in fact, she had not even seen a real city so she was thrilled by the magnitude of it. Lexa kept her face void of any emotion, but she was enjoying the way Clarke seemed to be absorbing everything within her sight. 

Long streets were filled with tents in which all sorts of items, food and animals were sold. It wasn't rare to find pottery by a butcher or goats been sold next to exotic silk dresses. Clarke went from tent to tent as she discovered wonders and little treasures hidden within them.

After a few hours, they finally got to the main tower in Polis. The building, yet old, was the grandest and most luxurious Trikru had, and so it was used for the greatest rites and people in their clans: Commanders lived in there, as well as captains from several clans. In it alliances were made and wars declared, novitiates were trained to become the next Heda, and more importantly, the ritual of Ascension took place.

Only two living people could know at the same time what the ritual consisted of: the Commander at the moment, and the Fleimkepa, who performed it, therefore passing on the flame of past Hedas onto the next one.

They left their horses and walked into the great tower. An elevator took them to the highest floor in the building as the tension between the three women kept growing. Clarke couldn't bare it anymore and threw herself onto Lexa's arms for a long, heartfelt hug. They pulled apart just before the doors opened and they walked into a room full of people. 

Other six novitiates, around Lexa's age, stood stoically as they listened to their teachers. Though every Natblida went to Polis for training, they were also taught by the great warriors in their villages, as well as the Fleimkepa, Titus. Silence filled the room as he walked in.

"Get your armours on. The Conclave will begin now. May the spirit of the Commander choose wisely."

Time flew by as Lexa dressed for the battle. In a few minutes all the Natblida were ready to fight. They might've gotten to know each other over the years, even become friends, but they all knew who they were and what they had to do. And they were ruthless.

Lexa looked at Indra and Clarke for what could very well be the last time.

"Lexa." Indra swallowed, nervousness betraying her voice "you can do this. _Frag em op_. Kill them." She and Lexa shook hands the grounder way, holding firmly each other's forearm before letting go.

Lexa then looked at Clarke in the eye. There was no need for words, there never had been between them. Before Lexa turned around, Clarke stopped her

"Lexa..."

"Yeah?"

"I..."

Clarke bit the inside of her cheek, not brave enough to say the words out loud.

Lexa sighed and smiled the tiniest of smiles

"I know"

And with that she turned around and walked away from Clarke. Away from safety and into a fight to death that would end with a new Heda. One of them would make it, only to live a life of great power, which was often more of a burdain than an advantage.

A loud horn sounded as the novitiates walked into the fighting pit. The crowd loudly cheered as Titus made the announcement they were eagerly waiting for.

"Let the Conclave begin!" 


	13. The fight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heyy guys, gore-ish stuff is coming up so if you don't want to read it, skip this chapter (I'll post a summary in the notes of the next one)  
> Btw, I'm trying to use the English measuring system (inches, feet, miles...), forgive me if I ever say any strange measure, I probably screwed up (in Spain we use the metrical system hehe)

Lexa walked into the fighting pit as she and the rest of the initiates formed a circle. They waited until the crowd stopped cheering and eventually went dead silent, and only then was the war horn that announced the beginning of the Conclave blown. The loud sound wasn't heard for too long before the bystanders cheered again.

As soon as the fight begun, one of the initiates, a young boy called Tem turned around and swung his sword, slitting another girl's neck. She looked surprised, her eyes wide open as blood started flowing. She gurgled and choked as she fell to the ground, painfully agonising.

One down.

That was all Lexa could think. Those people weren't her friends anymore. They were her enemies, and they had to be defeaten so that she could live. She had to. If not for her, for Clarke.

She let out an almost animal war cry as she ran towards the initiate who was trying to kill her. Swords clashed with a loud metal sound. The girl kept thrusting her sword to Lexa, who blocked her attacks as well as she could. The girl was really good, and much stronger than Lexa. After a few more attempts to hit her, Lexa was cornered against the wall of the fighting pit.

A new thrust caught Lexa off guard, she could barely manage to stop the other girl's sword a half inch before it hit her neck. She tried to push back her oponent's sword, but it was impossible to her. The other girl's blade kept inching closer and closer to her neck. Lexa shut her eyes firmly, trying to figure out a way out of there.

Suddenly, the other girl stopped to the floor, an axe buried into her back. Lexa took a deep breath as Bren, the boy who'd thrown the axe, approached her, another axe in his hand, and a less than friendly expression on his face.

Two opponents were already dead. No, another one was laying on the floor about twenty feet away from Lexa. Three dead. Three to go.

Lexa dodged Bren's attack, she knew the boy was pure brute strength, but in the short distance he was no rival for her. She hit him on the side with the flat of her sword as he tried to punch her once again, this time his fist hit Lexa's stomach. She growled in pain as she quickly jumped to the right side, which his opponent wasn't shielding properly. Lexa's sword dug into his flesh as he yelled in pain. She twisted the blade until he stopped moving and then pulled it out. Lexa swallowed and noticed she had a split lip, yet she didn't let that fact distract her.

Four dead. Two to go.

The remaining two girls were fighting relentlessly in the opposite side of the arena. One of them, Geia, had a big wound on her right arm, which forced her to battle with the other one. This would've been a great advantage for her rival, if it weren't for the fact that she had a deep cut in her leg and another one in her back, not being able to move, nor fight properly.

Lexa was looking at their battle when she felt a sharp pain in the back of her left thigh. She turned around as she saw Bren, who kept trying to cause as much pain as possible, even though there was no way he'd survive, let alone win. Lexa looked at him in the eye as she dug her sword through his back, finally ending him.

When she turned around, the previous combat had ended. There was only one more left. It was either Geia or her.

Swords clashed together as both girls attacked, willing to end the Conclave for once and for all. Lexa drew another sword as the other girl hit her with the grip of her blade in her forehead, causing Lexa to bleed and back off. It took her a half second to recompose and throw a new thrust, which barely touched her opponent. Lexa kicked Geia in the stomach, causing the other girl to fall on her back. Lexa approached her to give her the coup de grace, and just when she lifted her sword, Geia threw a dagger that dug deeply into her shoulder, causing Lexa to fall to the ground as well.

Geia stood back up. Lexa didn't move at all. A few seconds passed. Nothing.

Geia smiled wickedly as the crowd cheered. "PEOPLE OF POLIS." she lifted her arms in the air "BEHOLD YOUR NEW COMMANDER. I AM HEDA. I WILL RULE..." she was cut off mid-sentence as blood started flowing out of her mouth.

Lexa had silently stood up when the other girl was proclaiming herself Commander and taken advantage of her self-absorption to stab her. Geia dropped dead to the ground as Lexa let go of her.

No one was left.

The crowd roared deafeningly.

She'd made it.

She'd survived.

She was Heda.


	14. The Ascension

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I haven't posted anything new in a few days! Buuut tbh I've been studying (dramatic eyeroll)   
> Tomorrow I'll post another new chapter as well hehe  
> Comments and kudos are appreciated!

Clarke took a deep breath when Lexa killed the last novitiate. Her heart started beating one again when she realised Lexa was fine. It had stopped when the brunette fell to the ground and Clarke thought she'd died. She'd felt an unspeakable grief as she clutched her chest, Indra trying to hold her as she cried out in pain. She hadn't felt or seen anything surrounding her until Indra yelled at her to look at the fighting pit. Lexa was fine.

The crowd cheered and roared loudly as Lexa walked out of the arena, her face void of any trace of emotion, yet when she arrived to the Great Hall of the tower, where Clarke, Indra and the rest of the captains awaited, and she looked at Clarke in the eye, her relief and pride showed off. 

Titus walked in shortly after her.

"We may go to your chambers. The Ascension ritual must begin now."

Lexa nodded as they both walked into the Commander's chambers. _Her_ chambers, Lexa reminded herself. Titus dragged a chair to the centre of the room and motioned for Lexa to sit down. When she did, he took a tiny metal box out of his pocket. It was old and rusty, and had a drawing of a skull over a red background. Lexa tried to see what was inside but Titus turned her head around.

"What is it?" Lexa inquired

"The Flame"

He took out a tiny chip that had an infinity symbol engraved on it, the sacred symbol of the grounders. He also grabbed a scalpel as he moved Lexa's hair to get access to the back of her neck. 

"Don't move"

And he cleanly made a vertical incision in Lexa's neck. She barely grunted as he introduced the chip into the wound. It moved as if it was alive, thin threads coming out of it and anchoring the chip into its position. Titus sew the wound as Lexa sit stoically. 

\-----------

A few hours later, and after several people had walked in and out of Lexa's chambers, Clarke was feeling pretty much unsettled. Finally, the doors opened and Lexa walked into the Hall. Then, Titus made the announcement they'd been expecting.

"The Ascension has finished. Bow before Lexa, our Heda."

Lexa stood before her throne as everyone in the room kneeled. She looked scary in her war paint and with the Heda symbol on her forehead, yet Clarke didn't feel any fear, only joy. Lexa was fine.

Every captain then swore fealty to Lexa, all of them repeating the same formula. When it finally was Clarke's turn, she meant every word.

"I swear fealty to you, Lexa kom Trikru. I vow to obey your commands and give my life for yours if need be"

Clarke glanced at Lexa's eyes for a half second, but if was enough for them both to say what they couldn't express with words. Not in front of all those people.

The ceremony went on for a few hours, and it was nearly midnight when they were finally dismissed. Lexa went alone into her room as Clarke walked by Indra to theirs. 

\-----

When they got to their bedrooms' doors, Indra grabbed Clarke by the arm

"I will never know you went to her room"

Clarke stared at he, eyes wide open

"I wasn't going to..."

Indra rolled her eyes

"Right. Don't get caught." And she shut her bedroom's door, leaving Clarke speechless.

\-------

Lexa sighed as she took a warm bath and winced as the hot water made her fresh wounds hurt. Still, it was her first time in a bathtub and she was willing to enjoy it.

She was startled when she heard her door open and footsteps approaching. She turned around and grabbed her robe, until she saw it was Clarke. She smiled for the first time in what felt like an eternity.

"Care to join me?"

Clarke nodded as she started taking off her clothes. Lexa's eyes roamed though the other girl's body 

"Don't look" Clarke's face reddened in embarrasment 

Lexa rolled her eyes "As if there was something I haven't seen..."

Clarke's expression was all she needed to see "Okay, eyes closed" she dramatically covered them with her hands until she felt Clarke's body sinking in the tub and resting her back on Lexa's chest. Lexa kissed the other girl's cheek as she hugged her firmly.

"It's okay. We're okay" she whispered as Clarke started quietly crying

They kissed over and over until Clarke's sobs turned into giggles and her breath was hitched for an entirely different reason.

Lexa got out of the tub, offering her robe to Clarke, and looking away as the other girl dressed. Clarke then ran her fingertips through Lexa's newly tattooed back. She'd been inked an abstract drawing of several circles joined by lines and mystical grounder symbols, as well as an infinity symbol on the back of her neck, right where the chip was located.

Lexa turned around and rested her hand on Clarke's lower back. Her eyes fixated on the other girl's lips, then the factions of her face, her eyes, and finally her lips again. Then she pulled Clarke closer as they passionately kissed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next episode: sexy sexy sex, so if you don't wanna read it, ya know, skip it (it's gonna be cute and hot and stuff tho)


	15. The Act

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heyy guys so the other day I noticed recently more people are reading this fic (yaaay) and also, this kinda scared me, yesterday in the time it took me to copy-paste from my computer notes and post the new chapter, over a hundred people read it. Wow.  
> As always, comments/kudos are appreciated :p

Clarke and Lexa kissed as they walked towards the wide bed. They parted only when breathing was necessary and loked eyes, blue met green as emotion showed in their gazes. Tears started streaming down Clarke's cheeks and Lexa gently dried them once again as she kissed the other girl's cheeks.

"I thought I'd lost you" Clarke sighed into Lexa's shoulder

"Well you haven't. And you won't" Lexa smiled and the blonde mimicked her expression

"Lexa..."

"I know"

Clarke couldn't stand the building tension between them anymore and clashed her lips onto Lexa's, both of them acting instinctively. Clarke's hand grabbed Lexa's lower back as she brought the girl closer, the brunette's naked body feeling warm against heir barely clothed one. Clarke's hands cupped the other girl's cheeks as Lexa sat on the bed. They both had never done what they were about to, yet there was no fear in any of their hearts, only trust, love, and passion.

Lexa's hand lifted Clarke's robe, her eyes asking for permission as the other girl nodded, their breaths shaking as Lexa saw Clarke fully naked, tossing her robe to the bedroom's floor. They both took a second to stare at each other, then Lexa pulled Clarke to the bed, rolling their bodies so that she was on top. Lexa began kissing Clarke's neck, eliciting moans from the girl below her, whose hands had started to roam her body. Lexa began gently nipping and biting Clarke's neck, then trailed down to her left breast, flicking her tongue as her left hand gently squeezed the other one, making Clarke's nipples harden with the touch.

"Oh, Lexa, that feels so good" the blonde said between shaky breaths and whimpers as she pulled Lexa's head closer to her

Their bodies pressed together as Lexa went back to kissing Clarke's lips, only ever stopping to stare at her as if she was the most beautiful being she'd ever seen. Her left hand kept gently massaging and squeezing Clarke's breast as her other hand caressed her inner hip. She looked at Clarke, silently asking for permission as the other girl nodded vigorously. Lexa then pulled the blonde's legs further apart as her fingers worked their way to Clarke's centre, teasing but not quite giving the girl what she yearned for. Her index finger trailed its way through wet folds as her other hand intertwined fingers with the blonde's.

"Fuck, Lexa" Clarke groaned, her breathing becoming more ragged by the second

That was all Lexa needed to thrust two fingers inside the other girl, causing her to loudly moan. Lexa started stroking at a steady pace as her tumb drew circles on the other girl's clit, bringing her closer to the edge. Clarke's fingernails dug into Lexa's back as her hips quickened her pace, Lexa kissed her again and increased her thrusts, curling her fingers inside the other girl, finally bringing her over the edge with a loud scream, which she muffled against Lexa's shoulder. Lexa drew her fingers out of Clarke as their breaths evened and loked them clean, Clarke's pupils dilating at the sight.

Lexa barely had the time to smile before Clarke turned them around and started mercilessly kissing her way down Lexa's body, her breasts, her stomach, stopping at her hipbone and then working their way to Lexa's inner thighs, only to look up at her eyes. They were the darkest shade of green Clarke had ever seen them, and that was all she needed to run her tongue through the length of Lexa's folds, flicking her tongue on the other girl's clit. Lexa grabbed her hair as she pulled the other girl closer, loudly moaning the other girl's name as Clarke slid a single finger into her. Lexa gripped the furs on the bed as she came with a loud scream she tried to hold back by clenching her jaw.

Clarke kissed her way back to Lexa's lips as the other girl held her tightly between her arms, her hands only moving to put the other girl's hair away from their faces. They chastely kissed as their breaths slowed again and Clarke's head finally rested on Lexa's chest. Then she noticed the bite mark she'd left on Lexa's shoulder. She traced it with her finger as she smiled, that was going to be quite bruised the next few days. Lexa smiled as well, running her fingers through golden hair. Only then did she say the words they both had been craving for so long.

"I love you"


	16. Dawn

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So from now on the plot is going to start being more complicated (I feel like GRRM with what I've got planned)  
> As always, kudos and comments are cool! A little bit of fluffiness ahead plus plot twist :) enjoy!

Lexa watched as Clarke's eyes fluttered open, the morning light making her eyelashes shine. Clarke turned around and lied still for a second with her eyes closed once again, her head resting on Lexa's bare chest.

Wait.

Clarke's eyes flew wide open as she realised where she was and who she was with, surprise showing in her face was quickly replaced by a goofy smile when memories of the previous night crossed her mind. She deeply blushed as Lexa smiled and kissed her forehead, bringing them closer once again.

"Good morning, sleepyhead"

Clarke smiled once again "Morrrning" as her head fell back onto Lexa's chest, making the brunette exhale sharply "whoops"

Lexa straddled Clarke, she knew the other girl was most definitely not a morning person, yet she was determined to make the most of the brief time they'd have before her Commander duties claimed her.

She lowered her hand slowly so that Clarke wouldn't know what she was doing until it was too late and she was already tickling her, the blonde bursting out in laughter as she begged Lexa to stop, rolling in bed and trying to get away from the relentless teasing.

When they stopped, they were both gasping for air, Clarke stood before Lexa's bed as the other girl sat on it cross-legged.

"Lexa"

"Mm?"

"I love you too."

Lexa could've sworn she felt her heart and chest swell with the emotion of hearing those four words coming from Clarke. She stood up and walked towards her "You're amazing" she whispered against the other girl's lips as they kissed

\----------

A knock on Lexa's door made them jump and they were merely able to put their robes on before Titus walked in.

His face tried but failed to hide the anger showing in his eyes

"Heda. May I speak to you?"

Lexa nodded

"Alone."

Clarke motioned towards her clothes in order to get dressed and leave, but Lexa replied

"Whatever it is, she can hear it."

"Fine" Titus' mouth formed a thin line "I thought Indra had taught you better. Love is weakness, Lexa. This won't end well."

Clarke saw hurt on Lexa's eyes, and a hint of a doubt, but they couldn't go back, not after finally being together, they couldn't fight what they felt. Right?

"I do not recall asking you for advice in my love life" Lexa firmly stated "so if that's all you've got to say..."

"No." He abruptly interrupted her "it's Azgeda. They're at the town's walls. And they want war."


	17. Finally, Heda.

Lexa awaited on her throne for the Azgeda Queen, her warpaint and the Heda symbol on her forehead as well as her black, thick armor and crimson cape made her look powerful, scary, deadly. Eyes as cold as steel matched the emotionless, almost angry expression on her face. She was Heda, and no one declared war to her. Next to her stood Titus and a few feet away Clarke shifted nervously from leg to leg.

"Heda, maybe you shouldn't..." 

Lexa cut him off mid-sentence "There have been many years of war. We can't afford to keep losing warriors."

"What are they for if not to fight...?"

"I said there shall not be war." Lexa clenched her jaw, eyes piercing and her expression showing there was no way she was going to change her mind

As Titus opened his mouth to reply once more, a tall, strong, platinum blonde woman walked in, flanked by two gigantic men who were most definitely not interested in any peace offering. 

Lexa took a long glance at the woman. Her face was scarred on her cheeks and forehead, as was traditional in her clan. She wore what seemed like a white bear's fur and no armor underneath it, the Ice Nation's warriors never wore them. Yet what was ultimately frightening about her wasn't how heavily armed she was or the way she gracefully walked into her now declared enemy's headquarters, but the look in her eyes. A look that screamed death, pain, and unforgiveness for all those who weren't her allies.

She cockily smiled as she spoke 

"Lexa. Finally."

Lexa arched an eyebrow 

"Nia."

"It's nice to see how fast you've replaced the old one."

Lexa felt the anger boiling inside her. They had no proof, but everyone knew Nia had killed the previous Commander. Backstabbed her and ran away. Coward.

"Let's be quick. I want war." Nia seemed bored with the conversation

"No. We've been at war for far too long."

"And so? _Jus drein jus daun_ , Lexa kom Trikru. Blood must have blood."

"Whose blood?"

"Everyone you've massacred in Azgeda for almost a century. Every Natblida from our nation that has died at your hands. Every single warrior" she raised her voice only to lower it once again, never losing her temper, once again putting on a fake smile that made Lexa's blood freeze in her veins

"you've killed in your meaningless wars. But now we're stronger. We're more powerful, we've got a bigger army and better warriors, and you know that, Lexa from the Woods Clan. So tell me. What are you going to offer to me that's going to make me change my mind about starting a war I know I will win?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ice Queen *cough*asshole*cough* and Lexa meet for the first time...So...Will we have war or not? Hehe this is soo non-canon, anything may happen, even an unicorn invasion (which won't happen bc plotlines, but it would be soooo awesome, tbh) :p   
> please comments/kudos/reviews/grammar or vocab corrections are really appreciated :D


	18. The brink of war

Lexa swallowed hard as she tried to figure out what to answer. She'd never been one to not be able to respond to a verbal attack, and she wasn't going to start that day. She saw Clarke from the corner of her eye and noticed the expression on the other girl's face, mimicking her own. She'd have to show her cards, risking everything she and the previous Heda had been preparing in advance for so many years.

\---------

**4 YEARS BEFORE**

Lexa and Yera, the Commander at the time had just walked out of their 3-hour meeting with the leader of the Broadleaf clan. However, Lexa's factions showed a hint of a smile as she knew what they'd accomplished would help their cause greatly. Once Broadleaf had agreed to enter their alliance, several other clans would do the same, if not because they believed in their desire for peace, they'd do it out of fear to be exterminated.

Yera had finally told Lexa what she'd begun planning a couple of months ago, creating a coallition of their most loyal clans, in order to defend themselves from Azgeda and their allies, should there be war. After long and tortuous meetings and broken oaths, they'd finally gotten four clans together, creating the biggest alliance that'd ever been made amongst the grounders.

Once they got to the Commander's chambers, Lexa dropped the question that'd haunted her ever since Yera asked her to join her in the meeting.

"Why me?"

Yera raised an eyebrow

"Why you what?"

"Why take me today and not any other novitiate?" Lexa had the strangest mix of emotions in her head: on one hand, she felt pride about being the one chosen, on the other, she was scared about what it could mean.

"You know why, Lexa." The Commander put a hand on Lexa's shoulder "You are my bet. I shouldn't tell you, but I believe you'll be the one my spirit will choose to live on in."

Lexa opened and closed her mouth several times, unable to speak. She finally managed to stutter a quiet "Thank you"

And then Yera did the most unexpected thing, she smiled. Lexa had almost never seen the woman show any kind of emotion, but she'd definitely never seen the woman smile, and she understood why. That wasn't the smile of a Heda, it was the warm smile of a woman, a friend, a child forced to take on a great responsibility from a very young age.

"So. Tell me, what would you change about the coallition?"

The question caught Lexa off guard

"I... nothing, Heda" she stared at the floor, not wanting her eyes to betray her

Yera scoffed "I asked you a question, _Aleksandria_ " 

That send a shiver down Lexa's spine, Yers wasn't going to accept any fake or evasive answer

"Fine. I'd join them all. Not just our allies, all the clans. It'd theoretically end all wars, and if someone was stupid enough to betray you, the coallition, there'd still be _eleven clans_ against them, so war wouldn't be an option for them."

Yera remained quiet for a few seconds, and when she spoke, pride and respect showed in her voice

"That's why you'll be a great Heda some day, Lexa kom Trikru"

\------------

Lexa looked back at Nia. Even after all those years, only eight clans had firmly vowed to join the coallition once it was made public, which they hadn't in case someone tried to attack them meanwhile, destroying everything they'd built so far. The rest of the clans had commited to join, when and _if_ Azgeda did so, fearing an attack from the Ice Nation if they joined behind their backs. Yet Lexa knew it was the only reason she could give so as not to start a war, the realisation that Azgeda couldn't win it.

"You won't defeat us."

Nia laughed as if it was the funniest joke she'd ever heard

"Oh. Because you _are such a threat_ to me"

Lexa stood up from her throne and with flick of her wrist ordered her guards to remain where they were.

"It's not just Trikru, Nia kom Azgeda. There's a coallition, one you'll join unless you want every other clan to end you. Shallow Valley, Blue Cliff, Glowing Forest...all of them, they've pledged their allegiance to me."

Nia tried to keep her fake smile on, but a glimpse of fear showed through her fake mask, she clearly didn't expect what she was hearing.

"So, what'll it be? Will you kneel before me or die?"


	19. Denouement

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heyy guys, sorry for posting this later than usual, I've been celebrating my b-day (hehe I'm so old. No seriously, I'm not. I'm 17.)  
> In this chapter, tensions will be solved...or not ;) New characters coming up (finally), Hope you enjoy it!  
> By the way, since Octavia, Raven and Lincoln are going to appear soon, I'd like to know your thoughts on something: Linctavia or Octaven? (I think that's their ship name) I'll soon be adding new plotlines to enrich the story hehe

Nia's face clenched in anger as Lexa threw all she had at her, knowing the Ice Queen wouldn't be stupid nor reckless enough to dare declare war to her. Or at least hoping she wouldn't, because, truth was, not all of the clans had joined her coallition. But Nia didn't know that, she couldn't, right?

The platinum blonde woman turned around as she spoke in the rare Trigedasleng dialect that was only spoken amongst Azgeda, so that no one but her soldiers would understand what she was saying. Still, her tone and facial expression didn't leave much to the imagination, her rage more and more obvious as she kept speaking.

Titus approached Lexa as Azgeda held their improvised war council, his mouth forming a thin line 

"Why didn't you tell me about this?" He whispered to his Heda 

"Yera never told you, so I didn't see a reason to act otherwise"

Hurt showed on Titus' expression as he took a deep breath

"How long have you been planning this?"

That was it for Lexa. The man had been by her side since she first arrived as a novitiate and had taught her most of what she knew about their culture, being Heda and their beliefs, but she wouldn't stand this any longer. He kept meddling and interfering in both her personal life and battle strategies, and she needed to make her point clear.

"I do not answer to you, Titus. Or anyone for that matter. I am your Heda, and as much as I appreciate your teachings, there is no reason why I have to explain to you every single one of my plans. This has been a secret for many years because an unfulfilled alliance could've brought us more war, which was exactly what we wanted to avoid. Yera and I..."

Nia loudly cleared her throat, startling Clarke and most everyone in the room. Lexa stopped talking to Titus as she stood gracefully in front of Nia. Then, the Ice Queen said the words she both feared and hoped for.

"Azgeda will join your alliance."

Lexa nodded "The vowing ceremony will take place at sunset in this very room."

Nia clenched her jaw and started walking away with her soldiers following just a few steps behind her. No one dared to stop them.

\------

"I don't care" Clarke walked into Lexa's chambers as the other girl dangerously started rising her voice at one of her captains, who must've done something to really piss her off. "Lincoln, I didn't call for you, I called for your clan's ambassador. Do you want Nia to throw her entre army at us?"

"I understand, Heda. But he said he was needed elsewhere, I'm just here on his behalf to deliver the message." The man's struggle was obvious, he had known both Lexa and Clarke for over a year and was facing the shame of dissapointing his Heda.

Clarke spoke up then "Lexa... It's not his fault, I mean, its not like he could've dragged the ambassador all the way to Polis."

"I know" Lexa sighed as she rubbed her temples, trying to figure out a solution as she instantly came up with one. She looked out of the window "it's already almost sundown. Let's go."

Lincoln was as confused as Clarke "But Heda...the ambassador..."

Lexa tiredly replied "Your clan's ambassador hasn't been branded. Therefore, you'll be branded in his place."

Lincoln didn't have the time to reply as they walked in once again into the Main Hall, this time it was filled with every clan's ambassadors, with whom Lincoln took place as Clarke stood next to the other warriors. Lexa stood before her throne as she motioned for one of the Trikru, who bore a hot iron with the Commander's symbol on it.

All of the different clan's ambassadors were branded one after another, with a disgusting sound of burning flesh every time the iron touched their skins, and making the room smell awkwardly. Finally, Nia sent the warrior designed to be Azgeda's ambassador: her very own son, Roan. When the time came for him to vow their loyalty to Lexa he very reluctantly and after a long, tense minute complied to do so.

Lexa knew this wasn't it, that Azgeda would try and attack them, that they didn't want the alliance and would try to break it even if it was the last thing they did. But for now, this was a victory.

\---------

Once the ceremony ended, Lexa went back to her chambers as Clarke pretended to go to her own ones, only to sneak out to Lexa's, once again entering through the window. The brunette, already in her nightgown, turned around startled as she heard the other girl's footsteps

"So that's how you got in here last night." she smiled

Clarke smiled back. She never realised how much she missed Lexa's smile until she saw it again.

"You should smile more often, it suits you" she said as she threw herself on Lexa's bed, shifting into a few uncomfortable positions before laying on her back

Lexa sat by her side on the bed as she ran her hands through blond hair "Yeah. But you know, I am not allowed to be in love, or to care about someone, or to like, have feelings" she sighed sadly

Clarke turned around to look at her. She decided it was finally time for them to have the big, tough talk"Lexa. I know what you've always been told, that you shouldn't be in love. That we couldn't...You know...be a _thing_. But love..." she caressed Lexa's cheek

Lexa looked at her sadly "Love is weakness." She mockingly quoted Indra "But isn't it a wonderful one?" She smiled, but the sadness remained on her face

"No, Lexa. _Our_ love, it's not weakness. It's strength. It's what has made me go on for all of this years. Even when we didn't know what we felt, even when we fought it to make things easier for us. It's what made me get up in the morning when I hadn't eaten for days and I knew I had to find us something. It's what's made me a better warrior, knowing that I had someone to go home to. This love you call weakness, this is where our strength comes from, Alexandria. I don't know where we'd be right now without the other. But I know this has saved me. _You_ have."

A sole tear fell from Lexa's eyes as she kissed Clarke. 


	20. AUTHOR'S NOTE

Hey guys, sorry for posting this in case you thought it was a new chapter, just wanted to let you know I had some trouble posting the previous one yesterday, but I'll try and upload a new one tomorrow. Thanks again for your support and comments ;D


	21. Evaporated dreams

Clarke rolled over in bed, getting closer to Lexa's warm body. She loved the feeling of the other girl's skin on her own, hands caressing the brunette's back as she rested her forehead on her chest. Lexa mumbled something in her sleep and turned around to lie on her stomach, giving Clarke a full sight of her elaborated back tattoo. Clarke traced it with her fingertips as more light entered the room with the sunrise.

Lexa had been having the same recurrent dream since she became Commander: the sight of a woman falling from the sky in a space suit, then taking it off as she landed on Earth, which was devastated from the nuclear war, barely any vegetation or animals in sight. For what seemed like an eternity she wandered around, trying to find a refuge, food, or people. She found none.

Every time she had the dream, little bits of information added to it. That day her dream self found a little cave to sleep in and survived in it for some time, there was no way to keep track of time in her dream. Yet that wasn't all that was new that day. As she walked out of the cave to try and scavenge whatever supplies she could find, a group of silhouettes appeared in the background. At first, Lexa thought they must've been an illusion, but as they approached she realised they were real people. She ran towards them and once they were close enough to speak, she heard a tall, black man speak in a deep, sultry voice

"We've been looking for you"

Lexa woke up covered in sweat and completely disoriented. When she finally came to her senses, she noticed Clarke by her side, blue eyes open wide with a worriedly expression.

"What did you say?" Lexa asked when she noticed the other girl was awaiting some sort of answer

"What were you dreaming of?"

Lexa sighed "I...I honestly don't know yet...But I think I'll figure it out soon"

Clarke blinked, clearly confused by the answer. She was about to speak again when their door slammed open and a tiny whirlwind of a warrior walked into the chambers. 

"Okay, I've been waiting for over an hour at your door to see you and there is no way I'm..." The woman blushed furiously when she saw the state of nakedness the other two girls were in, quickly regaining her composure and going back to her bickering "Oh. That's why you didn't hear me before, huh? Had your own sound effects?" She winked mockingly at the girls and sat on Lexa's table cross-legged. Lexa turned her head to look at Clarke as the other girl huffed and let herself fall onto the bed, yet her fake indifference was overshadowed by the true affection in her voice

"What do you want," she growled while showing the tiniest smile " _Octavia_?" 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I finally introduced Octavia (yay) and the whole dream-stuff. From now on the plot is reeeeally going to thicken, slowly but steadily, thoughts? Kudos/comments/suggestions are so nice!  
> Btw, my Twitter account in case you wanna take a look: @pixeladoverde_


	22. The intruder

Octavia jumped onto their bed, not giving a damn about the fact that the other girls were completely naked under the furs. 

"Can't I just say hi to an old friend?" 

Clarke rolled her eyes while grabbing some of her clothing from the floor

"Yeah, sure" she scoffed

Lexa kept her eyes shut, wishing that it was all a dream and Octavia hadn't _actually_ bursted into her room and gotten into their bed. She opened her eyes. Octavia was still there. Crap.

"Fine. I hate to wake you up to this kind of news...But with pretty eyes over here becoming our one and only leader, I sort of had to."

Lexa sat up in bed and started getting dressed as Clarke sat again by her side

"Spill the beans, O" Clarke's mind ran through every possible scenario: Azgeda breaking the coallition, a riot against them, against Lexa, war...

"I really hate being the one to tell this to you...A village was attacked and slaughtered, then burnt to the ground last night."

Lexa's jaw clenched, a feeling of powerlessness taking over her. Clarke's hand gently squeezed her hand, giving her the strength to ask

"How many?"

"237. 92 men, 96 women and 49 children."

The air in the room thickened as the news sunk in

"I...I tried to save them, our people really did, but when we got there it was too late. All we could do was put out the fire and mourn the losses."

The trio remained silent. They knew even though Octavia's earlier attitude, the girl was having a rough time. She was just trying to make it easier for them. It never worked.

Lexa began to put on her armor, unsurprisingly, as Clarke started to do the same. Octavia sighed 

"There is no way you aren't going to go therez right?"

Lexa shook her head while picking out her daggers and swords. She decided even if they were just going there to explore the site, she might as well be heavily armed, the area wasn't safe at all.

"Any clue on who did this?"

Clarke and Octavia read between the lines, Lexa wanted to know, _needed_ to, if it had been the Ice Nation's troops.

"Nothing"

Lexa stormed out of her chambers with the other girls walking a few steps behind her. She began shouting orders at everyone, gathering a small group of soldiers to go by her side, dismissing all those who kept telling her to stay in the safety of the big city, and asking relentlessly for Indra, who quickly appeared and started walking by them as well. 

Clarke whispered to Octavia when she was sure no one else could hear it.

"O, about Lexa..."

Octavia smiled and replied in her low, raspy voice

"I know nothing." Relief filled Clarke's heart, she'd never doubted the girl, but she had to be sure, she thought as they kept walking

As soon as they left the tower, four stallions and ten other warriors awaited. They each mounted on their horse as Lexa spoke, her Commander face on, no expression was shown on her face but her authoritary glare.

"One of our villages was brutally attacked yesterday. There were no survivors" the multitude in the streets began talking, quickly spreading the news to those who weren't close enough to hear them "we now are riding there to find out who did it. There'll be no mercy for the traitors to the coallition."

Whispers turned into words and then into loud conversations as Lexa and her warriors started riding towards the city's gates. As soon as they left, the noise started to decrease, but not enough for a quiet voice to be noticed. A shallow, seemingly shy voice that delivered a threatening message.

" _Stedaun gon Heda_." Death to the Commander.

\---------

A shadow haunted the forest. The shadow of death. The shadow of fear. That shadow commanded the troops that brought death to that village. And it wouldn't be the last one. The shadow was revenge. It had no mercy, and it was determined to end _her_.


	23. The Devastation

There was still smoke in the atmosphere when Lexa and her soldiers arrived to the village. Nothing was left but ruins and shambles, scraps of what had been the place where a group humble, yet fierce farmers had lived for the past century. Though none of them were professional warriors, they were not to be messed with, because, like every other grounder, they'd defend their people and what was theirs.

Lexa got off her horse and walked with Clarke and Octavia behind her. 

"Look for survivors" she mumbled

"Lexa..." Clarke whispered

"You heard me" she repeated, her voice cracking. They knew they wouldn't find anyone. But Lexa had to believe they could.

They split as they wandered through the small village, which they explored in less than ten minutes due to its tiny size. 

Octavia couldn't hold a tear back when she saw an entire family massacred as they slept: a couple and three children's bones rested on the remains of a bed in which they'd laid to sleep without knowing they were never going to wake up. The couple wouldn't have another anniversary. Their children would never grow up. They wouldn't create their own families. It was all gone.

Clarke found the remains of a little hut, no people were inside it, but she caught a glimpse of human bodies in the garden beside the house. She slowly walked closer to them, and what she saw broke her heart. Both bodies were entangled with each other. No, not entangled exactly, she realised. They were hugging. They knew what was coming upon them, and tried to protect each other. They died in each other's arms.

Lexa saw both scenes. She saw the entire village. Every body. Every story. And not a clue of who'd done it. That was the work of a coward. Grounders always left their brand whenever they attacked someone. She counted every single body and mourned all of their losses. Once she'd seen them all, she decided it was time to leave for Polis. The village would be left as a ghost one in respect for the lost ones.

\------------

Once they arrived to Polis, Lexa gathered all of the ambassadors and captains in the Great Hall, as well as everyone who wished to attend. Octavia and Clarke were there next to Lexa's side, since they were both respected and admired by the grounders.

"I speak to you on behalf of our lost brothers and sisters. There'll be no mercy for the authors of the slaughtering of hundreds of people. The great coallition has been betrayed, and those of you who have done that will suffer the consequences of it. You're not getting away with this."

She needn't say anything else before the room kneeled before her as she walked away.

\--------

A pair of ghost eyes laid on a girl. They knew that girl was the key. They'd use the girl. They smiled.

\--------

Clarke climbed, once again entering Lexa's room through the window. She approached the other girl and hugged her from behind, Lexa leaning into her touch. They remained quiet for a while. Then tears started falling from Lexa's eyes. She turned around and cried heavily on Clarke's shoulder. She cried for everyone they'd lost, feeling every death as her own.

Clarke held her until she calmed down a bit, then both of them laid on the bed still hugging.

"I failed them" she said with a cracked voice

"No, Lex, you couldn't have done anything to help it"

"I could've sent someone to protect them, troops, an army, I...there has to be, people can't just die..."

"Alexandria. There is nothing you could've done to protect them. They were killed by someone so ruthless they would've massacred any other village and not given a damn about it."

Lexa breathed raggedly

"Lexa..."

"That's the worse. I am fucking Heda. And I couldn't do anything."

They stared into each other's eyes. Massacring a village like that was an act of war no one would dare to do unless they knew they could win, which meant a great deal of their allies must've been backstabbing them for at least as long as the coallition had been standing. People would want revenge. They still didn't know against who, but there would be a civil war. And there was nothing they could do to stop it.

\------

The eyes fixated on her. Suffering was coming. Greater than anyone had ever felt. Greater than she could expect. They were going to make her suffer. They were going to break her.


	24. The shadow

The shadow had been haunting them for longer than they would've believed, and no one had noticed. It had eyes everywhere. The shadow of their enemies hovered over them. Chased them. It wanted to end them. And it wouldn't stop until it did so.

 

Lexa, Clarke and the rest of the soldiers finally returned to Polis after sundown. The crowd gathered in the streets was immediatly quiet when they saw Lexa's face. The girl always bore a mask, but not now. The grief, the sorrow for all of their lost brothers and sisters, and mostly, the thirst for revenge showed in her eyes. She spoke up so that her words wouldn't go unheard by anyone.

"We've lost an entire village." Murmuring ensued and slowly stopped as they realised Lexa was waiting for them to stop talking in order to resume her speech  " _But_ they won't get away with it. Someone has betrayed the coallition." Murmurs grew into full-volume conversations and then louder until Lexa raised her hand authoritarily. She took a deep breath "We have enemies. And we will defeat them." Then she said the four words she'd hoped she would never have to say "There will be war."

They got off their horses and walked all the way to the great tower of Polis, Lexa stopping by every passerby that asked her anything. She answered to everything she could. No, there were no survivors. No, they didn't yet know who'd done it. Yes, they would defeat them.

Clarke was also grabbed by the arm and received lots of questions. She'd never realised how fond the people of Polis had got of her in the few weeks Lexa had been Commander.

Lexa kept giving her blessings, words of hope and anger, depending on who she spoke to, she even sparred with a little child who defied her. Not even then did she smile. Thoughts ran through her head at a dashing speed. Battle strategies, army training, reorganising her troops, gathering the New Natblidas, finding out _who the hell_ they were fighting against...

An emergency meeting of the ambassadors was held, and after several minutes of Lexa updating them of the situation, her threats ensued.

"The traitors lie amongst one or more of your clans. I will not say this twice: if one of you knows who they are and don't speak up now, I shall massacre your people as well as those responsible for the attack last night."

No one said a word

Clarke stayed with them, Lexa'd silently asked her to do so, but didn't speak as they gathered around the table. A map of the lands of the twelve clans was displayed on it, with several figures representing their troops. 

For hours they tried to figure out a strategy. 

They couldn't.

The shadow laughed.

They didn't know what army they could count on. They didn't know what they were fighting. They knew nothing.

Dawn broke and they still hadn't come to a conclussion, nor had they sat down. They were all desperate to plan what to do, but they couldn't come to an agreement.

Food and water were brought to them as night fell, and so they spent their second fruitless night. However, when the sun rised again, Clarke couldn't bare keeping silent anymore.

She stood up and walked to the table "Here's what we're going to do."

The ambassador of the Broadleaf clan laughed "Who is this girl and why..."

"Shut up" Lexa bluntly cut him off. "Unless you've got a better idea" she mockingly stated, he had proven himself to be a terrible strategist.

Clarke nodded and spoke again, this time more confidently "If less of half the clans were to fight us, a frontal approach would suffice and we wouldn't need further strategy. We'd just outnumber them 4 to 1, there's no way they could win that. If half of the clans were against us" she separated the figures on the board "we should attack from the mountains, the lake and the dark jungle next to the Azgeda territory. That way we would surround them and leave them no escape. The surprise factor would end them."

The ambassadors walked closed to the table and Lexa's eyes lit up. Clarke could do this.

"Even if three quarters of the clans were to betray us, the same approach would be okay, only instead of climbing the mountain we should leave about a half hundred warriors behind it, so that when they think they've won, we annihilate them. We could also leave some of our lesser warriors hidden in the woods to end any possible survivors."

Lexa bore the faintest hint of a smile, and she didn't care. She was too tired to put on her Heda façade. The rest of the people in the room also showed hope and happiness in their faces. Some of them had to be terrific actors, Lexa thought. She quickly took the thought off her mind. Clarke was showing her how to save them.

"And if eleven of the twelve clans were against us, well..." They all stared at her "Well, I won't tell you that plan, because that'd mean you're all traitors." She ironically smiled and sighed "And now that we've got a strategy, can we _please_ go to sleep?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooo in the next chapter: the plot twist I've been wanting to make for so long hehehehe....
> 
> I've been thinking of separating this story into different parts since from now on it's gonna get really darker. Thoughts?
> 
> Btw, fellow LGBT+/POC/inmigrant/women Americans, sorry for your current president. As an LGBT hispanic woman, I feel and support you. You'll get through this.


	25. Safety

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! So, sorry for not updating this earlier, but I've been sooo busy lately...Hope you enjoy it. Big plot twist will come in a few chapters. As usual, please leave comments! :)

A trail of soft kisses on her back woke up Lexa. Her eyes slowly fluttered open only to be blinded by the intense light coming in through the window. She raised a hand to cover her face while Clarke kept giving her soft kisses and pecks all along her upper back and neck.

"What... time is it?" Lexa sleepily asked between yawns

"I don't know. Nor do I care." Lexa turned around and before she could protest, Clarke shut her up with a tender kiss that quickly heat up, both of them gasping for air as Clarke ran her hands through Lexa's hair. The brunette's hands raised to the small of Clarke's back as she topped her.

A loud knock on the door made them stop. 

Lexa raised a sole finger and pressed it to Clarke's lips, motioning for her to keep silent. The knocking continued. Lexa sighed dramatically.

"Who is there?"

"Heda, you must attend your duties." None of them were surprised to hear Titus' voice, of course. Who else would dare bother their Commander after so many days of sleeplessness?

Clarke hid beneath the covers under the apologetic look Lexa gave her. Lexa opened the door angrily, but her voice was stoic as ever when she addressed Titus.

"And what are those duties you speak of? I've spent days without a single minute of sleep trying to avoid war."

"May we speak alone?"

Lexa raised an eyebrow "We're alone."

"Fine." Titus entered the room and closed the door behind him. His expression got even more serious than it usually was "You mustn't see her."

"I see dozens of women everyday, so unless you are a bit more specific..." Lexa replied bored already

"Clarke. You mustn't have feelings. Not for her. Not for anyone. Your love will destroy you, Lexa..."

"It's Heda to you." She abruptly cut him off "And you're no one to tell me what to do. You're not a teacher, not to me."

A glimpse of hurt showed in Titus' eyes before he left the room without uttering another word.

Lexa got back into bed with Clarke, showing the widest of her smiles "So, where were we?"

\-------------

A figure covered with a cloak entered Titus' chambers. He finished litting his candles and turned around. 

"Finally."

Hands put the cloak down as Indra's face appeared from within its hood. "Did you speak to her?" Her raspy voice and tired eyes as well as the dark circles under them showed that she hadn't been having the easiest time lately

"There is no way, Indra. We can only hope that no one finds out." He began to display several religious figures and talismans on the wide table on which he'd previously left the candles.

"If we don't stop it...no Commander has ever had a partner, not a long-lasting one anyhow. Titus, they've made each other weak. And we're all going to end up getting killed because of it." Anger boiled inside Indra as she went on talking "Lexa is already dealing with a fragile alliance, if any of her enemies find out about them, they'll give the allies she has left a reason to betray her as well."

"I know, Indra. I've seen Lexa grow as well. I understand how you feel about her. And that makes us both weak as well."

Indra furrowed her brow. She knew he was right. Both of them had been taught that love was weakness, that they shouldn't care that much about anyone. That it would be a disaster for them and the person they loved. And yet both of them had grown to love Lexa over the years.

\-----------

The shadow kept getting closer. It grew with every treason, every backstabbing, every betrayal. It craved power and it was gaining it. It approached Polis and the power within it. And yet no one knew. Only the shadow's allies, who moved as silently as it did. They were everywhere. They saw everything. Drawings of a spiral inside a triangle began to appear through the villages.

No one seemed to know what they were until an old woman from a remite farmer village remembered. Then, for the first time in her life, she packed the few belongings she would need to travel and left her house and village behind. She started a journey to warn them of what was coming. A journey she didn't know if she'd be able to finish. But someone had to warn them. She was their only hope.

\------------

Meanwhile, Lexa and Clarke made love for hours. It was tender and loving, and it got rough when it had to be, leaving both of them sweating and in need of more. More love. More of each other. More.

They also spoke about everything, as they'd done since the first day they'd really spoken, so many years ago. They remembered old times, running through the woods, getting lost and sleeping within them, only to be woken up by each other the morning after. The little things that had made them fall for each other.

Stolen glances, hands that touched softly when there was no need for it, little details and sentences with double meaning that only they would understand. Soft kisses by the lake. As they kept speaking and holding each other in their arms, their hearts beating as one, they only fell even more madly in love with each other.

And that way, Clarke resting in Lexa's chest, held in the other girls' arms, is how the shadow first saw them. It did so from a distance, for it couldn't yet be discovered, but it was close enough for Clarke to shiver and cover them in their furs.


	26. The calm

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys! I'm trying to keep up my previous chapter updating speed :) comments and/or reviews are appreciated

A loud thud broke the silence in the little hut, followed by a sharp intake of breath and a series of curse words that wouldn't be envied by the fiercest pirates. A body moved and a sleepy, raspy voice answered 

"What is it?" Words were almost inaudible as they were slurred by the girl who'd just woken up

"Your arm. Ouch" the other voice tried to fake anger, but she couldn't do it for too long since she melted as soon as the other girl hugged her

"Sorry, Raven" Octavia smiled and kissed her cheek 

Raven rolled her eyes and tried to turn around to get some more sleep but gave up when O lifted the furs that were covering them

"How can you wake up so quickly?" She growled, her face against the pillow. Octavia quickly got dressed and gathered her weapons "We have stuff to do, Rae, get up"

Raven rolled to the other side of the bed, away from the sunlight that was getting more intense with every passing minute. Octavia smiled and jumped back onto bed, sitting by Raven's side. "Don't make me do it, Rae."

Raven got into a fetal position, her eyes closing as she attempted to drift off to sleep. Then Octavia stood up. At first the bed barely moved, but as she went on jumping, Raven couldn't ignore the constant bouncing of the mattress, so she turned and grabbed O by the ankle, causing her to fall by her side as both of them burst in laughter. Their foreheads rested on each other's, barely any distance separating their faces.  ~~~~

"I've missed the way you laugh" Octavia said between ragged breaths.

They remained silently in that position as the atmosphere became heavier. 

"O..."

Octavia shushed her and got even closer, not even a quarter inch between their lips.

Raven ran her thumb through Octavia's cheek "This will only...just think...Lincoln..." Her eyes mirrored her heart, a mix of emotions, desire and guilt at the same time showed in them

"I left him, Rae. I love him, but not the way I love you. And I know I was a fool and I should've done it before but..."

Raven smiled widely "Say it again"

"Say what?" Octavia looked confused

"Say you love me" Raven whispered

Their breaths hitched for a while that seemed like an eternity until Octavia repeated it "Of course I do."

And only then did Raven dare kiss her.

\--------------

Indra paced slowly through her chambers. She'd asked to not be bothered. Not that day. Not the day she'd lost everything. She hated that day. She kept plotting strategies, trying to figure out who had betrayed them and who hadn't. It was impossible that a number of clans big enough that could spare sending an army to destroy a village had betrayed them.

And then she realised what had happened. She quickly went through the corridors and hallways headed to the Great Hall, hoping that she'd get there on time.


	27. The storm

Rain fell heavily as deafening thunders loudly echoed, the sky above them was completely dark despites it was early in the evening. The old lady kept walking, leaning occasionaly on a hand-made cane she'd manufactured while on her way to Polis. A lightning struck a tree a few hundred feet away, setting it on fire partially, but the flames were quickly put off by the rain.

She kept walking, slowly but steadily making her way to the great tower. She had to warn the Commander, she doubted anyone else was old enough to remember who their real enemies were. She needed to tell Lexa that there was only a specific group of people they'd need to attack, so no more bloodshed would happen.

Then a dagger slit her throat open and a figure covered in dark rags dragged her dead body to an alley.

\-----------------

Clarke rubbed the side of her hand, trying to get rid of the dark charcoal that stained it. She gave up with a loud huff and kept on drawing. Lexa opened an eye slightly when she heard the sound, her legs were crossed and her hands rested on each of her knees, the muscles in her back tense in her meditating posture. She went on with her spiritual exercise for a while. She sensed something, and she didn't like the way it felt. The gut feelings she'd been having ever since she'd become Heda had only intensified in time and proven themselves to be quite trustworthy, not having failed to the day. A cold shiver took her out of her dark thoughts, she opened her eyes and walked to Clarke's side.

"Can I see that?" She rested her hand on the blonde's shoulder. Clarke nodded and Lexa took a look at the drawing. It was a flawless depiction of the view they had from their window, and Lexa was breathtaken by the beauty of such a simple, yet meaningful piece of art. She wrapped her arms around Clarke and no words were needed between them.

Lexa then kissed Clarke's cheek and both of them went to the Main Hall, not without Clarke having to hide and work her way out of Lexa's chambers without been seen.

They arrived to the throne room, once Lexa entered it every soldier bowed their head respectfully. Clarke stayed among the crowd whilst Lexa sat on her throne.

Minutes turned into long hours of Lexa listening to her subjects' issues: arguments about borders in farming crops, families that betrayed one another, young boys and girls that seeked to be trained in the arts of war... She answered to each of their requests, of course not always granting what they wanted, but every time caring about her people. That was the moment when Clarke realised what made people love Lexa.

A farmer from TonDC was telling his desperate situation, after several villages had been burnt, he had a greater flow of clients than ever, and he couldn't manage to provide food for all of them, which had already caused several fights in the past weeks.

Indra opened the doors with a loud noise just when Lexa was beginning to reply. 

"Heda. We must talk." The urgence in her voice was enough for Lexa to nod and dismiss everyone. No one was to hear that conversation. 

Once they were alone in the wide room, Clarke walked out of the place where she'd hidden in the confusion of everyone walking out.

"Did you see if anyone else stayed?" Lexa whispered

Clarke shook her head, but still they spent a few more minutes searching for anyone who might've tried to hear what they were saying. It was a good idea, but they didn't find anyone. You can't see a shadow in the dark. But the shadow could hear them.

"There's a symbol that has been appearing in many places that were attacked, it has even been spotted in the immediations of Polis. It's an ancient rune, the seer in my village told us stories about it when we were children. Heda, it represents an ancient dark power, and if the stories are true, not even you can save us." Indra's breath was shaky, but she managed to overcome the fear "It's probably just a group of people who worship that Big Evil, but if it's back, I don't know how to stop it."

Clarke and Lexa's eyes locked for only a half second, then Clarke replied incredulously "You're telling us our enemy is the bad Guy from a children's tale."

"All stories bear truth in some way, Clarke"

"What is this Big Evil, Indra?" Lexa's brow furrowed

"No one knows for real. It's an ethereal being, legend says it's made of pure darkness and works its way to people's hearts, corrupting even the purest of souls." Indra shrugged "It's not the legend itself that we should fear, but what will the worshippers of such a creature do in its name?"

Lexa bit her lip trying to think, to see the big picture "So even if it's a political betrayal to the coallition, there's someone guiding and organising the whole mystical aspect of it. People do insane things for their faiths. And right now, we can't know who is a traitor and who isn't..."

"...because it's the individuals who betray you and not the clans." Clarke finished her sentence while Lexa nodded. They would be facing a battle far more challenging that anyone could've foreseen.

As soon as they walked through the door to leave the room, Indra gasped, and for the first time the girls saw fear in her eyes. They turned around to look at what she was seeing, and blood froze in their veins when they did.

A couple of feet away from the safest room in the most guarded and protected building of the capital, the heart of their coallition, there was a drawing. Painted with blood from the corpse of an old woman that was left laying under it, a spiral inside a triangle was now a macabre part of their décor.


	28. Fighting back

In the utmost secrecy a meeting was being held in the dungeons of Polis. The intrincate system of catacombs formed a maze in which everyone became lost. Everyone, of course, except for those closest to the Commander, who was the only one who knew where each path leaded. The secret was passed on from one Commander to the next, and each Heda chose whether or not to reveal the secret to their most trustworthy blood raiders. It was a great honor to be one of them, but it also entailed great danger, as well as a burden that was unbearable for some. When the Commander died, they were all killed to make sure the secrets they knew died with them.

Lexa had decided not to bring Clarke to the meeting. If anyone had already noticed the slightest thing between them, a glance, their eyes locking, or even the way Lexa's muscles seemed to relax whenever Clarke got close even in the most tense situation, there was no way she would give them any more evidente of what they might be suspecting. It would be too dangerous.

Indra and six other raiders awaited in the dark room, a few torches were the only dim light that could be seen. Lexa took off the black hood that covered her. She was dressed in dark, poorly sewn clothes so as to not be noticed on her way there. Her fist hit the table and when she spoke, her voice was low and threatening, nearly a growl.

"You better know something."

Her green eyes fixated on her blood raiders' eyes, one by one. They all lowered their heads. Finally, Indra sighed. "Lexa, there is no way we can possibly..."

"It's Heda for you." Indra was cut by Lexa's sharp voice "You are the only people I trust, and yet you have all failed. You bring me news of devastation, but not a single name of those who cause it. Every mercenary in town has been doing the exact same thing, and still NO ONE KNOWS WHO IS BETRAYING US" her voice raised, the sentence ending in a scream

"Heda, there is something we've found out." Indra hesitantly spoke up "Raen says he overheard two people speaking of a bigger attack, something more direct..."

Lexa looked at Raen "What did they mean?"

The soldier shrugged "I didn't hear anything besides that, as far as I could understand, they were plotting to do something to attack not just the coallition or the city of Polis, but _you_ personally."

A cocky, ironical half-smile showed on Lexa's face. "Let them try. Now, tell me about the other villages."

\---------

The traitors awaited for their leader to speak to them. He was lost in a trance in which he could see what the shadow saw and communicate with it. He thought he was in charge. Everyone did. But the shadow knew he wasn't. He only saw what it let him.

The man opened his eyes after long hours of silence "The plan will work. The night will take over the day...but...we must be careful. That's all I can see."

That being said, he stood up and walked inside his tent while his audience started to play tribal rythms on their drums, dancing around the fire to worship their deity. The shadow's followers had everything prepared to execute their plan. They wouldn't see it coming until it was too late. A huge bonfire was lit in the deepest of the woods, sending smoke signs to those in charge of it. A smoke sign was sent back within the minute and the fire was quickly put off. No one but those meant to had seen it.

\------------

The entire day had gone by and still Lexa hadn't heard the stories of every attacked or completely annihilated village. They counted over two thousand deaths, and the number would probably increase when they were done searching for the bodies.

They agreed that the best thing to do was to find a small group of people that each of them could trust, and leave one of them in every one of the villages surrounding Polis, which were the most likely to be attacked. There was the risk that they'd lose people, but it was the only way they could figure out to find who were killing them.

One by one, leaving long gaps of time between each other, they left the room through different hallways, so they wouldn't all leave through the same door. They weren't taking any risks.

Lexa arrived to the great tower when the Sun was starting to rise. She entered through the stables, hiding and walking as silently as she could. She finally entered her chambers, exhausted from the meeting and quickly undressed herself and crawled into bed, searching for Clarke's body warmth. 

The bed was cold.

Clarke wasn't there.

Lexa's eyes flew wide open.

She jumped in her bed.

On her wall, there was a drawing of a spiral inside a triangle.

The shadow laughed and a cold shiver ran through Lexa's spine.

Then she began to yell.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I created a Tumblr account recently, to see how it goes :) still looking for people to follow so if you want to check it out i'll follow back 
> 
> Http://wedeservebetterarmy.tumblr.com


	29. Wrath

Lexa stormed through the long corridors, yelling orders to everyone she encountered. Soon she was flanked by a small group of warriors who commanded their own soldiers. Small groups of them were sent to search in every single building in town. Clarke wasn't in her bedroom, not that she'd ever used it since Lexa had become Heda. She wasn't elsewhere in the great tower, Lexa was told barely ten minutes after realising she was missing. A loud horn sounded, summoning the citizens of Polis to the main square in town. Lexa arrived there and started her speech as soon as there were enough people to spread the word amongst those who hadn't arrived yet.

"Today, a personal attack has occured. Clarke kom Trikru has been taken by the traitors who have been massacring our people. A message from them was left in my chambers. We won't stop until these people are all dead, so if anyone has information, speak up. If you hide something, there will be no mercy for you."

The streets of Polis were silent as ever. No one spoke up. Rage boiled inside Lexa as she spoke again, her eyes getting darker than usual as they did whenever she was about to lose her temper.

"Then find them. And kill them."

With that she left the confused crowd and ran to her horse. Indra followed her, awaiting orders.

"Indra, you're one of the few people I trust. Go with your clan. We need as much help as we can get. This is not about Clarke, it's about how close they've got."

"Heda, they could've killed you. I must stay and try to protect you"

"I'm perfectly capable of defending myself." Lexa didn't want to be so harsh to Indra, but at the time she could only think of Clarke and whatever had happened to her.

Indra firmly nodded and started yelling at her soldiers, deciding they would search the most wild and unexplored areas of the woods surrounding Polis, expecting their enemies to be hiding there.

Every search party included at one of Lexa's blood raiders or one of their most trusted warriors, so as to ensure that, if there were any traitors between them, they wouldn't hide Clarke's location.

Lexa was about to leave with her own group of warriors, the fiercest and strangest from each clan, when she heard a voice she hadn't heard in quite a long time.

"Let me go with you, Alexandria."

Lexa turned around when she heard her whole name. Neko approached her, riding a black horse 

"I need to know that she's okay"

Lexa nodded "Of course"

Neko and her rode side by side, and when they started to gallop Lexa looked at him from the corner of her eye 

"By the way, it's Heda now."

Neko managed to half-smile and nod, but soon his face went back to showing how worried he was about Clarke. As was Lexa.

\-------------------

Clarke couldn't move. Or see. She was blindfolded and tied up, and she was moving. She tried to think calmly. Her hands and legs were tied above her, so she must be hanging from a trunk or a big log. Great. The intermitent feeling of grass against her back seemed to confirm that, as well as the way she kept swaying from side to side. 

She tried to listen to her captors speaking, a masculine voice was whispering something she couldn't quite decipher. It was an old dialect of Trigedasleng, and even though she herself, as well as the rest of the kids of the streets spoke a very archaic one, she barely could understand a word.

"... _amin_...Floukru..." The people from the river...they couldn't have betrayed Lexa...She hoped. 

"no...no..." a high-pitched voice replied angrily, but Clarke couldn't figure out a word they said

"...no, Heda..." Clarke tensed when she heard Lexa being mentioned, and finally she could understand an entire sentence 

" _Jus drein jus daun_ " and they laughed.

Clarke didn't understand. There hadn't been any bloodshed on their enemies' army.

Then she knew.

They laughed because they didn't think they would be able to avenge their dead people. She gasped.

The voices shut up. Foosteps approached Clarke. She was hit in the head. Then everything went black.


	30. Despair

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I'm thinking about separating this fic into different parts bc from now on it's going to get really darker, but I wanted to know your thoughts on that, so please leave a comment on what you'd prefer/think it's better and why :D  
> Thank you for your support, you guys are amazing.

Drums echoed in the distance and began to sound closer as Clarke regained consciousness. Her mouth was dry and her lips completely chapped from dehydration. She had no way of knowing how much time it had been since she had been captured. She didn't remember when was the last time she'd drank. Or eaten. She wanted it to stop, all of it. The sempiternal pain. The sleeplessness until she was either knocked out or passed out from exhaustion. She wanted her life to be over.

She craved her own death.

But then she remembered. Soft kisses, warm hugs. Someone to lie with in bed during the cold winter days and to bathe in the freezing river water in summer. Somebody to love and be loved by. And only then, when she remembered Lexa, she fought to live. One more minute, hour or day, it didn't matter as long as she died trying to see Lexa just one more time.

\----------

Lexa gave a strong kick, throwing the Azgeda man out of the great hall's window. Everyone in the room turned around to look at her while the man screamed on his way to the ground.

"That is my message for them. No one questions my strength, nor my loyalty. You all better remember that."

Lexa hadn't ever been hated by her warriors. They might've liked her more or less, or even opposed her opinion, but never hated her. She was a loved leader, even amongst those who didn't like her decisions. Yet that day, she made them feel _fear_ for the first time.

Rumours had spread ever since Clarke had gone missing. Their relationship was soon known by everyone in town, and with it the theories about Lexa's current state proliferated. Some said the girls had never been in a romantic affair, and that it was simply physical for both of them, said rumour being the least dangerous of them all. Others believed there had been a romance but Lexa had quickly got over it and was searching for Clarke because of her strategic mastermind, but the vast majority of Polis believed, and wasn't too wrong, that Lexa was being driven mad by her worry and heartbreak. 

She didn't sleep at nights, drowned and suffocated by her own memories, and she barely could stand the meetings during the day, given the fruitlessness of all her efforts to find Clarke. Every fight between her subjects seemed silly to her, and she quickly dismissed them after proposing a solution none of the parts liked. Lexa's heart hardened with time, as did the measures she took to set an example of those who disobeyed her. She kept the town and clans going as well as ever, and trained the new Natblidas that came, but she couldn't fool anyone.

Her eyes, that looked sad when Clarke had first disappeared, had changed their expression, mirroring her feelings.

She wasn't sad at nights anymore.

Her sorrow had turned to rage and her tears into bloodthirst.

It seemed there would be a war after all.

A creepy, dark smile that would freeze anyone's blood in their veins worked its way to Lexa's face.


	31. Fear

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First of all...VIOLENCE IN THIS CHAPTER. But you know me. I'm not like *really* violent.  
> Secondly, I've decided this is going to be the last chapter.
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
> Haha gotcha  
> Of the first part, because I'm making this fic a series to separate the different stages of its development (and blah blah) I also feel like my writing in the first few chapters was way worse than it is now, so let's see if more people read the second part :D
> 
> It'll be called "Love is weakness (and it can destroy us)"

"Speak." Lexa commanded 

The prisoner stood still. He didn't utter a word.

"For the last time, speak."

The man didn't move a muscle.

"Fine" Lexa drew her sword and stabbed him in the stomach. He might not tell her what she needed to know, but his death would be painful. And slow. 

After stabbing him several times, he left him on the ground to bleed out and walked to the other prisoner. She repeated the exact same question.

"Where are my people?"

This time, she got a response. The grounder smiled before spitting at her face. She didn't ask him again before breaking his neck.

Lexa cleaned her face, disgusted 

" _Heda_ , this one might've spoken"

"None of them have, Indra." She started walking towards a metal door in an alley, Indra closely following her.

They entered the room, making sure no one had followed them, and silently closed the door behind them. It was cold and humid, and the air reeked of sweat and blood.

Titus was standing next to a single chair in the middle of the room. He held a small dagger in his right hand and a red hot iron in the other one, which he was approaching dangerously to the woman tied to the chair. Her flesh sizzled when it touched her, but she barely grunted, eyes fixated on Titus' as she didn't say a word.

"Titus." Lexa didn't have to ask the question, they'd done it for way too many times.

He shook his head

"They know our ways, Heda. They're grounders."

"End her."

The woman smiled one last time before Titus put the dagger through her heart.

\------------

A war council had been made a few weeks after Clarke had disappeared. She had only been the first one, but in the four months she'd been missing, over a hundred more warriors had been kidnapped by the Shadow Army, the _Neindropa_ , the impostors.

The council consisted of Lexa's blood raiders, as well as Indra, Titus, Octavia and Raven. Those were the only people she trusted and needed.

"Lexa, we aren't getting any answers, from any of them. If you'd only hear Raven's plan, I'm sure..."

Lexa glared at Octavia, causing her to shut up without need of her speaking. 

"Lexa" Raven didn't usually speak in those meetings, Octavia did so for her, but she felt like it was needed "we can't kill them one by one. And we aren't getting any answers. Im not saying my plan is perfect, but we need one."

Indra nodded "We should attack their camp, burn it at night, and before they know what's happening, attack them with all we've got."

"No, we should go at midday, they won't expect that, the light will partially blind them, and we'll have that in our favour"

"A frontal assault would be best. Given the size of our army..."

"SILENCE" Lexa looked as if she was going to kill any of them some time soon. Or all of them. "In case you've forgotten, I'm Heda. I'm the one who makes the decisions around here. We can't attack at night, because they've got watchers that can spot anyone who is less than ten miles away. That's why so many of our scouts have been killed, or wounded" she looked at Octavia's arm, which was still healing from an arrow that'd hit her "We can't know how many people they've got, so we don't know what kind of attack we need. And the _light_ " she scoffed "like that would stop them. What we need to do, like it or not, is to annihilate them. Once and for all. But we won't need a good plan. We'll need a _perfect_ one."

Raven's eyes lit with hope

"You'll explain it to us in the morning, Raven. It's late. Get some sleep. If it's good, we'll attack tomorrow. If not, well, we'll have to keep torturing the rest of our prisoners." No one saw her smile as she left the room.


End file.
